The Most Liberating Lesson: Let Them

Recently, I ran into someone from my past, and it hit me just how much I’ve truly changed, healed, and grown.

This person had walked away without a word after I set a clear boundary and they crossed it. Instead of talking it through, owning their part, or sitting with the discomfort long enough to grow, they packed up their toys in a huff, slammed the lid on the toy box, and tried to paint me as the villain.

But running into them didn’t sting the way it once would have. It actually felt like a quiet, powerful reminder of how far I’ve come. I’m no longer carrying their story or shrinking to make their behavior make sense. I just felt… steady. Clear. Free.

There was a time this would have sent me spiraling for days, maybe even weeks or months. I’d replay every moment in my head: Did I do something wrong? Were my boundaries unreasonable? Why am I being punished for their wrongdoing? Did I miss something? Could I have explained it better? Should I have said it differently? How do I fix this?

It would consume so much space in my heart and mind, leaving me exhausted and full of self-doubt.

But something was different this time.

I didn’t feel the need to fix anything. I wasn’t trying to win them back, convince them to see me differently, or chase closure. I didn’t need to be right. I didn’t need an apology or for them to take accountability. I simply observed, thanked Spirit for the information, and kept living my life.

In that moment, I realized how deeply the simple practice of “Let Them” has changed me.

One of the biggest gifts I’ve received from Mel Robbins’ work (if you haven’t read the book or listened to the audiobook yet, please do because as a recovering people-pleaser, it’s been absolutely liberating) is the understanding that not everything is mine to carry. If someone wants to leave, let them. If someone wants to misunderstand me, let them. If someone wants to create a story about who I am that doesn’t match my reality, let them. But the empowering part then is to choose myself.

Not because it always feels good. Not because it doesn’t sometimes brush against old wounds. But because I cannot control another person’s perception of me. For years I exhausted myself trying. I wanted fairness. I wanted them to see my heart. I carried the weight of being mistreated, misunderstood, and labeled in ways that had nothing to do with who I truly am.

I dimmed my light, tried to fit in, and rehearsed every word just right and it was soul-crushing.

But Grandmother Spirit kept whispering the same truth in my journeys: You are not here to carry their stories. You are here to walk your own.

That is the heart of “Let Them.” to me.

If someone wants to leave, let them. If someone wants to misunderstand you, let them. If someone only shows up when it serves them and disappears when it doesn’t, let them. If someone gets upset because you have boundaries, let them. Then after observation, I must then choose me.

I can have boundaries and still be called unkind. I can have good intentions and still be misunderstood. I can communicate clearly and still have someone choose a different story. That used to devastate me. Now I see it differently. People are allowed to have their stories and I am allowed to stop carrying them. I stand in my truth and quit trying to manage other people's versions of me.

A Shamanic “Let Them” Practice (especially helpful when the old stories start swirling):

1. Find a quiet spot. Light a candle if you’d like. Grab your drum, journal, or simply sit with your breath.

2. Name the person or situation that’s taking up space in your mind. Speak it out loud or write it down.

3. Let Them: Slowly say or write:

Let them misunderstand me.
Let them disagree with me.
Let them leave.
Let them judge me.
Let them tell their story.

Feel what shifts in your body as you release each one.

4. My Turn: Now shift the energy:

Let me trust myself.
Let me protect my peace.
Let me keep growing.
Let me keep creating.
Let me walk with Spirit.
Let me live in alignment with my own direct revelation.
Let me choose myself and today nurture the wound that wants to chase
Let me meet my needs of my inner child that I think someone else can meet for me.

5. Call It Back: Place your hands on your heart or solar plexus and say:

“I call my energy back from every story that is not mine. I release what was never mine to carry. I return to my own sovereign field.”

6. Close with gratitude: Thank the lesson. Thank the person for showing you where your boundary still needed strengthening. Thank yourself for choosing peace. Thank Spirit for the guidance.

Do this as many times as you need. Each time, you’re training your nervous system that it’s safe to let go. The older I get and the deeper I walk this path with Spirit, the more I understand: Peace is not found in controlling how people see us. Peace is found in releasing the need to. Peace is found in choose ourselves over and over and over.

Some people will love you. Some won’t. Some will understand you. Some won’t. Let them.

And then let yourself keep living anyway, laughing in the Florida heat, drumming with your own hands, opening circles in your own way, creating from Source, and walking forward with your heart wide open and your field protected.

This isn’t about pretending everyone else is wrong and I’m always the victim. When I mess up, I know it. I’ve learned how to own it and make amends. This is for the codependents and recovering people-pleasers. the sensitive souls who take on everyone else’s feelings, who fear not being liked, and who ache when injustice or misunderstanding lands.

Their actions and feelings are about THEM, not you or your value.

You got this. And you don’t have to do it alone. You are allowed to keep becoming more and more of who you are, sometimes by unbecoming everything they told you about yourself.

Mystical Moon Haven
7634 Kathleen Road #5151
Lakeland, FL. 33810

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